In a series of unfortunate events…. no wait a minute. In a series annoying events…. no that’s not quite it either. In a series of declining Apple functions, which eventually resulted in the rainbow wheel of death appearing when I asked the computer to do practically anything at all, I decided for once in my life to get a new computer before the old one gave up the pixels.
This resulted in an evaluation of my whole relationship with the Apple Core, as my oldest son calls it. I looked at the new iMacs and found to my dismay that they no longer even have USB ports! You have to buy a little dock that plugs in somewhere to go along with your disk drive which they removed on the last model I bought, and if you are a person who likes to burn music CD’s. which I do, it’s like Apple in its infinite arrogance keeps waving their crooked Palpatine fingers at you saying… “You don’t NEED USB ports.” And, “No one makes ‘mix tapes’ anymore.”
So I began looking, with the help of all three of my sons, for something in the Microsoft computerverse. One carrot that dangled there enticingly was the ability to run a program called OneNote. [Those who know will know.] I had been able to try it out and fell in love with the thing.
I won’t go into ALL the reasons I decided to make the switch, but these were the two main ones. Well, I ordered the computer and waited anxiously for over a week as it slowly made its way on a FedEx truck from Pennsylvania. The southern route if you’d like to know.
(We are supremely indifferent to that piece of information.)
While I waited for its arrival, I watched a ridiculous number of YouTube videos on Windows 11 with a mixture of excitement and terror. Turns out that terror was the proper response. It arrived yesterday and I set it up without too much fuss and then the games began.
I had made a list of things to do that was way more extensive than I thought it was going to be, which was made more complicated as I have decided to get a new email address because my old one is SO ancient, that it has attracted an astonishing number of spam bots like stink on…. well…. a rotten apple. Pun intended.
I dove in at two in the afternoon and didn’t stop till 11. I will spare you and ( ) the details. Suffice it to say that the whole thing ran the gamut of human emotions in quite a colorful and at times hysterical (not in the funny way either) display. There was one really low point where I discovered the newest version of OneNote installed on Windows 11 is NOT to my liking and made me feel like Lando Calrizian listening to Darth Vader say…. “I’m altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.” But my inner Geek struggled to its feet in true Jedi fashion and went on a search, found OneNote for Windows 10 and installed it. I tossed the other one in the virtual basement and declared victory. It’s the only way I could get to sleep last night.
There are still many details to overcome and things to learn and unlearn. But …. and here we come to the philosophical part of this post. This transition has brought it home to me with excruciating clarity the importance of familiarity.
The neural pathways that we have developed to interact with our electronic devices are deep. They are profound. And they are legion.
When you think of the sheer number of details we grapple with every day compared to a farmer in the Middle Ages, it’s a wonder that we aren’t all raving lunatics. My list of things that need to be changed is a whopping sixty two. And that does not include constructing a new contact list in my email. Speaking of which, I will be eventually sending this blog out from my new email address. I will let you know when. Perhaps the next entry if I can get myself together. So I’ll warn you to be looking in your spam folder for it. Because anything with a lot of recipients may cause trouble.
I used to joke with my boys that one day the fast moving computer world would stop briefly at some imposing station and would throw me off the train. But dog gone it. It wasn’t this time.
I’m holding on for dear life to the little porch at the back of the caboose of the Microsoft Zephir waving the Apple Core Midnight Express goodbye. It’s only with a tentative good riddance however. Because this train has its own Palpatine. Somewhere up there behind the controls of the engine. And he has my credit card number for Microsoft 365. God help me.